


Hunt You Down, Eat You Alive

by The_Alias (Artemis_Day)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Breakfast, Darcyland Polyamayry Week, Discussions of Steve's sexual prowess, Domestic Fluff, Early morning fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, M/M, Marvel Polyship Bingo, Or Is he?, Sam Wilson is a Gift, Slice of Life, Steve is extremely flustered, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:46:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24288358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis_Day/pseuds/The_Alias
Summary: Just a typical morning in the Rogers-Lewis-Wilson household.
Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Sam Wilson, Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers, Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson
Comments: 14
Kudos: 99
Collections: Marvel Polyship Bingo 2020





	Hunt You Down, Eat You Alive

**Author's Note:**

  * For [peachgalaxy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachgalaxy/gifts).



> Written for PolyaMAYry Week and also Marvel Polyship Bingo: Square G4: Animal in Bed.

“Is Captain America an animal in bed?”

Steve was just trying to make breakfast. 

He didn’t ask for much in life. A few defeated enemies, minimal collateral damage, no civilian casualties, and maybe once in a while, a peaceful day where he could relax with his best girl and guy in the comfort of his own home. Given what he’d learned the universe is capable of, that was nothing. He might as well add a new motorcycle and some chocolate covered almonds to the list while he was at it. Those things were addictive.

Instead, he had to deal with  _ this _ on a Saturday morning. Great. Now his toast was burning.

“What the hell are you talking about?” he asked, crawling out of his stupor and struggling in vain to save the charred bits of bread. 

From the couch, Darcy scrolled through her update feed. “It’s one of the top articles on Buzzfeed. Ten photographs were analyzed by a body language expert to prove their hypothesis that you are a complete madman in the bedroom. A boy scout in the streets and a beast in the sheets as they say.”

“...don’t you hate Buzzfeed?”

Darcy shrugged. “A broken clock is right twice a day.” She glanced up at Sam as he made his entrance, eyes almost closed and feet dragging. “You know what I mean, right, Sam?”

“Mmm…” he mumbled, which could have meant a lot of things in ‘half-asleepese’, but was most likely some variation of ‘coffee.’

“See? He agrees with me,” Darcy said.

“Agree with what?” Sam asked after gulping down a full mug. 

“It’s nothing, Sam-” 

“That Steve is an animal in bed,” Darcy cut in.   


Sam blinked a few times. “Oh. Well, yeah, obviously. Is there more coffee?”

Dear God, he  _ just wanted to make breakfast. _

“Why is that even an article?” He was already dreading the answer. “Don’t people have better things to talk about?”

“Of course, tons of better things,” Darcy said. “Which is why they choose to talk about this. Also, as we’ve established, they aren’t wrong.”

“No, they are not,” said Sam.

The toaster oven dinged and Darcy floated past Steve to retrieve her bagel. Meanwhile, Sam poured himself a fresh cup of coffee, careful not to let it overflow. He mixed in some half and half and two spoonfuls of artificial sweetener. Taking a sip, he sighed like all his troubles had slipped away. Steve wished he could relate. 

As his lovers settled in the living room with the TV on and day full of activities to plan, he was left to contemplate life and the meaning of his own existence while his bacon and eggs sizzled.

“What is the point of even talking about me?”    


Darcy, who had moved on to liking her cousin’s vacation photos, rolled her eyes. “It’s like you don’t pay any attention to the gossip rags at all.”

“I don’t.”

“Well, that’s probably for the best.” Darcy clicked off Facebook and returned to Buzzfeed. “If you must know, there are a fuckton of articles and top ten lists all about how hot you guys are, what you’d be like in bed, and of course, what Avenger you are based on your favorite flavor of ice cream.”

“I got Thor,” Sam scoffed. “The fucking thing was rigged.”

“Take this one.” Dary held up her phone. “The top ten best Avenger booty shots. I’m sorry to say you’re only number three.”

Number two was Sam, which, as much as this whole thing made Steve want to die of embarrassment, he couldn’t exactly refute. Topping the list was Bucky the day he had to fight a terrorist cell that had taken up residence in a shopping mall. Nothing brightens your day more than Bucky Barnes in tight jeans, or so the caption read. 

Steve snorted. “Well, I hope Buck’s seen _that._ ”

“I’m sure Jane will show him.” Darcy took a bite of her bagel. It smelled amazing, especially now that Steve’s breakfast was nothing more than char marks on the stovetop. 

“It just comes with the territory of being a celebrity,” Sam said. “Don’t take it personally, man. We all deal with it.”

“Not me,” Darcy raised her hand. “I just get death threats from teenage girls who think I’m hogging you guys or getting in the way of your ‘pure gay love’.”

Steve and Sam stared at her. “Our what?” Sam said.

“Their words, not mine.”

“And where do these people live?”

“In loopy fangirl land where they have yet to grow up and get real jobs,” Darcy said. “Seriously, it’s not a big deal. They’ll get over it. Until then, I just have all their crap sent to a PO Box I don’t open.”

“Maybe they should stop reading these articles,” Steve groused. 

“Maybe  _ you _ should stop being an animal in bed,” Darcy countered.

“Hey now, don’t give him ideas,” said Sam.

He high-fived Darcy while Steve wondered how hard he’d have to hit himself over the head with a frying pan to lose consciousness. 

“Okay,” he said. “If you need me, I’ll be in the bedroom.”

Dropping the scorched pan in the sink, Steve shuffled around the kitchen counter down the hall to the master bedroom. It was hard to look small and pathetic at his size, but he thought he did a good job of it. The last he saw of Darcy before stepping through the door was a sudden and rather regretful frown.

The bed still needed to be made, he noted as he flopped down on the mattress and was buried in a pile of rumpled blankets. Nothing happened last night except Sam snoring and Darcy accidentally kicking him in the middle of a dream, and yet they always seemed to wake up in a tangle. Just the price they had to pay for being a triad. Steve pulled a sheet over his eyes so he only heard the footsteps approaching.

“Hey, come on,” Darcy said. The mattress dipped to his left. “I’m sorry. I never know when to draw the line between teasing and pissing people off and that’s what gets me in trouble… God, I sound like a therapist.”

“I’m not mad,” Steve said, sitting up to drape an arm around her. “I just wish we could have some privacy without all that tabloid shit getting in the way.”

“We’re always safe in here,” Sam said, sitting on Steve’s right side. “Right now, it’s just the three of us.”

Steve smiled at him and gave Darcy a squeeze before sliding off the bed. “That’s true. No hidden cameras here.”

He went to the door. It had been left slightly ajar. Pushing it closed, he clicked the lock into place. He checked the touchscreen on the wall. FRIDAY was not currently active within their apartment. 

Perfect.

“Uh… Steve?” Darcy said.

He turned around. “Yeah?”

“What are you doing?”

He gave a half shrug. “Locking the door. Why?”

“Why are you locking the door?” asked Sam.

With an innocent look, he stepped closer. “I don’t know. Just felt like the door should be locked right now. Maybe for a few hours.”

As he spoke, the angelic pureness of his face turned steadily darker.

Darcy gulped. “What are you going to do?”

“Good question,” Steve grinned. “What am I going to do? Fold some laundry. Dust off the bookcase. That bed looks pretty messy. Maybe I’ll start there.”

“Oh boy, he’s got that look,” Sam muttered.

“That look?” He was standing over them now, a towering giant they couldn’t hope to escape from. “That  _ animal _ look, you mean?”

“You said it,” Sam said as Steve shoved him and Darcy down and crawled on top of them, “not me.”


End file.
